Author Archives: Carolyn

One-Legged Karen

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I spend a lot of time focusing on what I can’t do with this broken leg. It’s toxic, and I know it, but I fuel my own anger and frustration because I just don’t have my usual outlets in the form that I’m used to.

Is she really writing about this broken leg thing again? Geez, doesn’t she care about anything else any more? I don’t come here to read whining about injuries that don’t relate to me.

Yes, I’m still writing about my broken leg. I’m sorry. It’s all-consuming right now since I spend a lot of time sitting and thinking about it or struggling with it when I’m trying to do something and drop my crutches or fall over or hurt myself some other way. It’s also easy to fall in the trap since I’m not able to do just regular things as quickly or as easily as I have in the past.

But there are a lot of things that I can do and appreciate, and there is a bright side to the whole broken leg thing.

For example, last night I did Karen in CrossFit. That’s 150 wall balls.

Here’s what wall balls look like:

I did them seated with one leg–and I’m pretty sure it was WAY harder than being able to use two legs. It took me 14:38 to finish. I was the last one working, but I did it.

I was planning on stopping at 75, but I noticed a lot more people (uninjured) were still working. So I figured I’d just continue until I couldn’t or until everyone else was finished. I was at 121 by the time the last person finished, so the coach told me to just keep on going since I was so close to 150. It was not easy. I used a 12# ball, but my elbows are a little worse for the wear this morning.

During a normal “wall ball,” your squat as you catch it, which distributes the weight of the catch throughout your whole body. When you can’t squat down with the catch to distribute the blow, it makes the wall ball much more difficult (in my opinion).

My new “cast off” date is supposed to be June 26. I say “supposed” to be because we all know what happened last time. Hopefully, I’ll be running again by the fall, so I can participate in the annual “Run Like Hell” at the Oakland Cemetery. Maybe I’ll start crafting my costume early since I have all this time on my hands.

 

Friday Things

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Cast off blast off was postponed. Oh well. I went in to the ortho, and they took an x-ray. I contorted my body every which way–while in no pain. The orthopedist essentially said that I’m healing quickly, that he’s surprised at how little pain I’m in when twists my leg every direction, and then that I probably still need to stay in the cast for 3 more weeks.

I turned into a whiny 5-year old and said something about how I brought my boot and it’s just down in the car. He said that he thought the boot was too risky still and that there was a 50/50 chance. He didn’t say what it was a chance of, but I’m assuming he meant a 50% chance of making it worse or hurting the healing process.

With a Boot

I just wanna walk!

He decided we could “compromise” and keep the cast on for 2 more weeks with a cast shoe, then move to the boot. Mother clucker. That means I have 2 more weeks of a sweaty, hairy leg; 2 more weeks of crutching around in the middle of the night; 2 more weeks of taking twice as long to do nothing tasks; 2 more weeks of getting worn out by what used to be a regular day; etc.

You never know how much you take the little things for granted when you just can’t do them as well anymore!

I am really glad it’s finally Friday, though. This weekend should be pretty busy. We’ve got plans to clean and workout and visit friends and see the new Superman movie. I hope it doesn’t go by too quickly!

Have a fantastic Friday and a wonderful weekend.

How CrossFit Changed My Idea of Body Image

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I’ll be the first to admit that, like any person, I’ve struggled with my body image. No matter how much we tell ourselves that we’re awesome (which, let’s face it, human bodies are a miracle unto themselves), the concept of “perfect” is constantly drilled into our heads through television, magazines, movies, blogs, etc.:

Women want to be thin and voluptuous at the same time. We want long legs, and we “need” the ever-coveted thigh gap. Men need to be muscular and have a body fat percentage below 10%. Only six-pack abs allowed!

Seriously, society?

CrossFit

Since starting CrossFit, though, I’ve noticed a definite 180* turnaround in the way I view “body image.” My focus isn’t on being supermodel thin–it’s a focus on health and strength and seeing my body achieve what I never thought it could. I’m about to tell you something that I never thought I’d hear myself say in my lifetime.

CrossFit is the only place where I’ve not been “proud” by how little I weigh. 

At CrossFit, what I’ve found important is building muscle, working to get stronger and faster, and eating to fuel your body, not losing pounds and looking thin.

Sweaty Run

One morning long before I broke my leg, my 5:15am class was working on dead lifts. I was still pretty new and struggling with the concept of “fighting for a lift.” In every other weight lifting class I’d ever taken, you were supposed to chose a weight you knew you could lift over and over–because you were going to be doing it for a long time, repeatedly.

In CrossFit, you work to get the highest weight you can for 5 reps, 3 reps, and even just 1 rep. This means you’re lifting heavier–but for much shorter periods of time.

Back to dead lifts. A CrossFit friend of mine who is always super encouraging, was rooting for me to try more weight since I always let myself off easy. So, for this class my goal was to dead lift at least my body weight. I got up to around 5# over my body weight, and it wasn’t that hard. When I told her my goal, she said something like, “Good job, but I know you can do more! You’re stronger than you think you are.”

Cute Cat

For some reason, the concept of “numbers on a scale” struck me instantly, and I realized that the pounds I’m lifting and the times my workouts take are far more important numbers than the ones on the scale. I also realized that if my *important* numbers are going to get better, the numbers on the scale will also go up as I build more muscle.

And I’m ok with that.

Sure, I still want my clothes to fit (because I’m not buying new ones–see my New Year’s resolution), but I’m not worried about whether I’m at the lowest weight I can be or the thinnest I can be. Heck, I’ve even come to appreciate all my legs can do for me–even if they are thick!

Splint Fashion