5 Ways to Be Happier in 2013

Prepare yourself for a slew of news articles about how to do this and that during the new year. Let’s face it, a fresh start (whether it’s literal or figurative) is a welcome way to wipe the slate clean and say, “Ok, I’m choosing to forget the past (or embrace it) and try, try again!”

Resolutions are all good and well if you keep track of them. Sometimes that’s more work than we want to put forward (or than we have the time to put forward). So here are some simple thoughts about making yourself (and maybe even those around you) happier in 2013.

1. Make more of your own fun instead of buying it.

Sure buying new things is fun and thrilling. I love it. It makes me happy. But just as with any addiction, I feel like I need more and more new stuff to feel truly satisfied. I need fashionable outfits. I need pretty furniture. I need a lot of things, right? The truth is, I don’t need any more than I already have. I just WANT things. Encouraging yourself to get by on less can help you focus on what you truly need: more time with those you love, a job that is fulfilling, stronger relationships, etc. Play board games. Go for a hike. Hold hands in silence. Spend time sitting on the floor petting your cats.

Twister

2. Take more pictures.

I have a really bad habit of not taking pictures during events and parties and family get-togethers. Sure I remember having all that fun, but it’s always nice to look back and remember the looks on their faces when grandma cracked that joke or share memories online with others who were there. I always think people look ridiculous taking so many pictures, and then look back and ask myself, “Why didn’t I take more pictures while I was there?!”

Bag Cat

3. Tell people how you feel.

I’m terrible at this. I expect people into read my mind, my voice, my mannerisms, my text messages and decipher how I’m feeling. That’s expecting too much! People aren’t all movie psychologists who can tell by the quiver of your lip or the flit of your eyes if you’re mad or sad or mischievous. Do yourself and the people you’re with a favor and just tell them how you feel. I feel unprepared. I’m a little frustrated. I feel upset. I feel blah. This makes me so happy. People will really appreciate your honesty and feel more comfortable returning the favor.

What a grump

4. Write someone important a letter.

Have you ever gotten a heartfelt letter from someone important to you? Or even just a letter with regular old details about someone’s life at that moment in time? In the age of emails and text messages and Twitter and Facebook, stop and take the time to write someone a letter. Strike up conversation about how your life is, maybe risk a little and get philosophical. I love getting real life (non-bills) mail. Wouldn’t you? Get a pen pal!

Write a Letter

5. Spend more time helping other people/animals.

I have a bleeding heart when it comes to animals, but I’m encouraging you to get out into your community and volunteer! Though you may feel like you’re making just a small difference, it can be a big deal for someone whose life you’re touching. Then they’ll go out and pay it forward!

Sean and Pudge

How do you plan on making 2013 the best year ever?

Life’s Not a Competition

 

I feel like I’ve written this post before. But I’m feeling this way again, so I thought I’d just get deep for a Friday. I’m a generally competitive person. I like to feel like I’m winning. And recently, I’ve felt like other people are “doing life” better than I am.

People are getting married, buying houses, having babies. And while I know I’m not ready for any of that, I can’t help but feel like I’m falling behind. There are no real role models for living with the person you love–and not getting married right away after high school or college or whatever–and not really wanting kids and wanting to travel around for a while before you settle down in one place.

I mean, while I am inexplicably jealous of people who settled down in the same town from which we graduated college, got married right away and bought a house and are on their merry way to making a family, there is no way in hell I could ever see myself doing that right now–or ever for some things.

Still I can’t shake this feeling that “I’m losing.” I know it’s partially because of social media and technology like Facebook and Pinterest and texting and constant communication that I feel this way. How else would I know that everyone’s busy getting married or getting it on? But it’s also people around me talking about buying condos, inviting me to their weddings (oh how dare you, ha ha), etc.

If I buy a condo or a house now, I’ll have to be here for a very long time. Is that something I want to commit to at 24? No way. I’d rather experience living other places in America (besides the South!) and have that extra money to travel and buy things I like. Do I want to spend a lot of money on a wedding? Do I need a piece of paper to tell me that I love Sean and that I want to be with him forever? Also, isn’t the concept of marriage just a little dated and controlling? The government must know who you plan to spend your life with… until you decide not to, in which case you must complete more paperwork to not be with that person. Oh, and we’ll give you a little tax break for following our rules.

And let’s not get into kids. “Babies having babies” everywhere. It’s just not for me. Maybe when I’m 30. So why can’t I shake this feeling that everyone else is victorious over me when it comes to life?  Maybe because society is telling me that’s what life is?

For anyone out there who feels like everyone else is telling you what your life should be, I hope you don’t mind if I spend your Friday morning telling you (and myself) what life is not.

Life is not a race.

Life is not a competition.

Life is not a fairy tale.

Life is not read-only.

Life is not a stage.

Life is not your work.

Your life is not what other people’s lives are.

Life is not about keeping score.

It’s not about how many friends you have or how “cool” you are.

Life’s not about money, cars, houses, toys, and backyard pools.

Do life how you want to do it. And do it on purpose. Every day.

Happy Friday.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Quote

 

Motivation

My blog-friend Emily asked me as a reply to my “Carolyn Workout” posts how I stay so motivated. The truth: Emily, there is no way on planet earth I’m even as close to as motivated as I seem. But I try. Really hard. Sometimes I just think, “I’m going to stay home tonight and do nothing.” Other times I have to force myself up off the couch, close my book I’m using as an excuse, and just do it. Sound familiar.

When I talk myself out of a workout here’s what goes through my mind:

  • I’m too tired.
  • I’m too full.
  • It’s too late.
  • I just don’t want to.

When I think logically and not emotionally about it, here’s the truth.

No one ever regrets a workout. You’re more likely to regret missing it.

And I think that’s the truth for everyone. Here are some motivational pictures/quotes that help me remember why I need to get up offa that thang, and dance till I feel bettah.

Right now, someone busier than I am is fitter than I am.

Enough said for this one.

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.

I need someone to tell me this every. time. I run.

Amen.

And last, but not least…