Today I start my new job. I’m a little nervous, not because I don’t want to mess up, but because I’m really afraid I’m not going to like it. Sure, I have no true evidence off of which to base that assumption. It’s just the apprehension before big change. My job sounds great. I’ll be writing about financial stuff now–working on everything from press releases and websites to print work and advisor materials.
It’s honestly my boss I’m worried about. He asked me to work on a little freelance stuff until I started. I got at least 24 emails in a period of 3 days. Multiple phone calls and even text messages at midnight. That wasn’t my favorite. The work hours are 8:30 to 5:30, though apparently the marketing team is expected to stay till after 6.
I’ve never understood how people cannot accomplish a workload in 8 hours a day–it’s all flipping day. I’m not looking forward to missing time with Sean, missing workouts with my friends, and feeling like a workaholic. I did that in college, and it was not healthy for me. Sure I felt like I was accomplishing a lot, but my relationships suffered, my health suffered, and I became a zombie.
I don’t want to turn into that again, and I’m really afraid that my new workplace will expect that from me. In my orientation, I watched a video of a man training for college football. It was super intense as he went through all these workout routines in different areas. Meanwhile a voiceover was saying things like, “Successful people don’t sleep, and they forget to eat.” And “When 50 Cent wasn’t making his movie, he was recording the soundtrack. And when people asked him when he had time to sleep he said, ‘Only poor people sleep.’”
This is not success to me. Rich family relationships and friendships are success. Cherishing the short time you have on earth with the people you love, doing the things you love is success. Sure it’s nice to have nice things. But what I have is not who I am.
I’m really afraid my new work expects that of me. And I don’t want to turn into that person.