Tag Archives: Yoga

Calm.com, Tenderheartedness, and Expectations

Posted on by

I’ve been thinking about a few things recently–yoga, anger, personal expectations, peace, and tenderheartedness. They all go together, I assure you. I found an article on Monday through LinkedIn, I believe, called “5 Steps to Controlling Your Anger.” I’ve written about it before, but sometime I notice that I get an odd satisfaction out of being angry.

Now, I don’t get mad at everyone and every thing, every step of the way. I consider myself a fairly tolerant person most of the time. I try to accept people’s opinions and beliefs, because, really, there’s no reason what I say will change someone’s political or religious convictions. (This is why there’s no point to political rhetoric on Facebook and Twitter, people.) However, when it comes to quick-temperedness, I think a lot of people are just raised a certain way and born with behavioral predispositions (nature vs. nurture). Somehow, between the two, I got some feisty gene or lessons in being non-calm. I’ve just never been that sweet, quiet, demure (dare I say nurturing?) kind of girl.

Sleepy Cute Cat

Except with cats…

I saw someone post on Facebook about the work they’re doing to help high schoolers achieve their full potential. Helping seniors pass and apply to college, helping juniors score as high as possible on standardized tests–all the things that make a truly compassionate person, pulling for individuals and groups, making a difference in the lives of an important population. This person, whom I truly respect, asked for positive thoughts and prayers to help these kids. Someone commented so eloquently, “Oh, Betty*, with that tender heart of yours…” (*name changed, obviously)

That simple Facebook comment was so moving to me. I don’t know why. Maybe because no one has ever told me that I have a tender heart. It brings my that suffocating feeling that comes right before tears overflow, tumble over eyelashes. Though I’m not crying (maybe that’s another sign of a lack of a tender heart), I feel emotional about it, because it’s such a rare phrase. It seems poetic to me. It seems so far from something that’s spoken or written nowadays. But I know it also affects me so much because no one has ever said it to me.

Yellow Flowers

After reading the 5 Steps article and doing a little personal analysis, I think my “quick to anger” or feisty type of personality is a result of expectations. Step 4 in the piece notes this:

What are you telling yourself that makes you so angry? You can make yourself even more angry when you take things personally, interpret other people’s behavior as intentionally provocative, view an inconvenience as if it were a catastrophe, or label the other person as a bad person. Examine your thoughts and ask yourself if this event is worth getting angry over. Ask yourself if the other person is just doing what they do — but not singling you out. Ask yourself if it might be worth accepting that people don’t always live up to your expectations — but you don’t have to upset yourself about it.

I remember throwing full out tantrums when I was younger and things didn’t go the way I wanted, or expected them to, or planned for. I’m big on things going as planned… Maybe I’m a little OCD about it. This is not to say that tenderhearted people can’t be feisty or get riled up. Maybe it’s just to say that sometimes, fiery people want or need to be considered tenderhearted.

When I was taking yoga a few times a week, I really felt a difference in my patience level and how I handled disappointment. I don’t know if it was because I was totally zenned out, or what, but I could handle more stress. Unfortunately, my Friday afternoon yoga class was canceled and my hot yoga trial membership expired. So, I need another way to work on calming myself–to work on achieving inner peace and tenderheartedness, to stop being angry at little things I can’t control, to stop expecting people to live up to MY expectations.

DIY Cat House

Yesterday, I found a great resource for a quick meditation: Calm.com. It lets you choose among 2-, 10-, and 20-minute guided relaxations. You can choose a background sound from gentle rain to waves crashing on a beach to rivers bubbling and the sounds of nature doing it’s thing in other locations. A woman’s voice gently guides you into self-awareness and helps calm you. I just discovered it yesterday, but I listened to it over and over for an hour and a half. I haven’t used it while I’ve been upset, but I’m sure it’d be useful. Check it out. Do the 2-minute relaxation right now. It’s absolutely worth it.

Calm.com

Honoring Your Body – Discomfort v. Pain

Posted on by

Every time I go to yoga, I spend a ridiculous amount of time looking at my body in the mirror and nit picking at it. When did my hips get so wide? Can I remember a time my thighs didn’t touch? Is that a paunch developing around my belly? By the middle/end of class, I’m fully committed to the poses and focusing on not falling over and hydrating my overly sweaty self, but it’s a curse to spend those first 10 minutes or so bringing myself down.

Last Friday, we were moving from the standing and balancing poses to the floor poses. In between these two sets, there’s a nice long savasana or corpse pose–essentially you’re lying on your back. Your heels are together, but you’re letting your toes fall apart as you relax. You chin is slightly tucked, eyes open toward the ceiling. Your hands are by your sides, palms open. You’re accepting relaxation. In between each pose in the floor series, you return to a short savasana before repeating poses or starting new ones. It’s pretty much the bomb. It feels so peaceful. You’re relaxed and open, accepting what’s coming next and what you just accomplished.

Savansana

(source)

While we were in one of the savasanas between floor poses, the instructor said something that really stuck with me, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot since then. We had just come out of fixed firm pose, which always kills my right ankle (since I keep spraining it over and over again every weekend in soccer).

Fixed Firm Pose

Fixed Firm Pose

(source)

In the savasana after that pose, our instructor said,

“If you’re feeling pain in the knees or ankles in that pose, don’t push yourself into the pain, scale back to what’s comfortable for you. Honor your body. Honor where you are in your practice, and honor what your body can do today. Every practice is different. Every person is different. Every day is different.”

That’s one element I love about yoga. It’s non-competitive. It’s accepting of everyone–beginners, experienced yogis, young, old, big, small, fit, or not. But it also has a different philosophy than most other exercise or fitness classes. It is a philosophy within itself: Come as you are. All are worthy.

Last week was National Eating Disorder Awareness week, and I read so many articles from those who have overcome eating disorders (or disordered eating) who spent months, years of their lives trying to force their bodies to be a certain way, look a certain way, do certain things, etc. that their bodies just weren’t meant to do or made to do.

We’ve all seen those images on Pinterest or fitness blogs or whatever else that say, “Pain is just weakness leaving the body.”

Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body

(source)

And I too am guilty of trying to force myself to do things that my body just can’t or isn’t yet prepared to do. I find myself telling myself things like, “Come on, Carolyn. Get it together.” Or “Push yourself harder. Stop being lazy.” And while those are fine motivators for times when I’m just feeling like not putting in my best effort, sometimes I know I’m pushing myself beyond just discomfort and into pain–and into the potential for injury. Sure, there are some elements of fitness that are painful. Black and bloody toenails or can-barely-walk after a marathon legs are painful, but the key to that type of pain or discomfort is that you’ve trained your body to handle it to that point. You don’t go from 0 to 26 miles in a week.

I think, in fitness (and in life in general), there’s a difference between discomfort and pain. A lot of times, when you become a fitness addict, you’re obviously become a discomfort addict. It feels good to push your body out of it’s comfort zone, to do things you’ve never done like run a marathon, achieve a yoga pose, or bench press a weight you never thought you could. But there’s an element of fitness that has been celebrated too much, I believe, that pushes people beyond discomfort, beyond their training threshold of pain and injury to achieve a goal their body has been prepared to reach.

It’s not honoring your body. There’s a tenuous balance between pushing yourself to improve yourself (cranking out all 25 push ups without giving up), and not honoring what you’ve worked for up till that point (trying to run 10 extra after only running 3 in every other run). Building your body up to your goals involves overcoming small moments of discomfort. Expecting your body to perform a miracle that you haven’t prepared it for is asking for injury, and calling it “weakness leaving the body” is stupid.

Honor your Journey

(source)

There are so many small elements that affect what our bodies can and can’t do in any given day–sleep, work, food, even the air we breathe. It’s important to honor your body where it is and honor what it can achieve at this point. Honor the journey that your body is on. Push your body into discomfort, but do not push your body into pain.

Remember that there’s a difference between discomfort to achieve a goal and pain. Give your body time to reach it’s goals and reward yourself for those you have reached! And, for heaven sakes, give your body some credit for all the amazing things it does for you every day. It’s truly a miracle that we’re alive and breathing, that hearts are beating and minds are computing. Honor that and celebrate that on your journey toward better health.

Happy Tuesday!

Bikram (Hot) Yoga Recap

Posted on by

I did a lot of research before I went to my hot yoga class last night. I researched nearby studios, read reviews, read about the practice of Bikram yoga, etc. Bikram follows the same 26 poses every class. Some people think it’s boring, others find it easy to mark progress. The room is set at 104*F with 40% humidity. Rooms are supposed to be carpeted so help cushion people, but you’re supposed to bring a mat and towel (or towel mat) to catch most of your sweat. And, man, did I see some sweat last night!

I went ahead and bought myself 10 classes. I figured, if I’m going to go in, might as well dive in head first. I wore some crops and a short-sleeved t-shirt. People were walking around in practically nothing (typical Bikram wear, I soon learned) almost like yoga swim wear. I soon learned that I’ll probably end up doing the same in my next few classes.

Bikram Yoga Poses

(source)

There were people of all shapes and sizes, people of various levels, and I was fortunately not the only first-timer. The instructor was welcoming and asked the newbies to raise our hands at the beginning of class. She made sure we could see ourselves in the mirror. Bikram is traditionally practiced in a lit room as opposed to dim, so you can see yourself and your postures, your form, in the mirror.

I went into the room about 15 minutes early, and it was like walking into a sauna. Except I’ve never been in a sauna, so I guess it’s what I imagine to be a sauna. My skin started to do that thing where it feel like it’s tightening up and warming up our whole body. I like that feeling–like when you first go out into the hot sun in the summer. I put out my mat in the back near the door. I consider myself in pretty good shape, but still didn’t want to take the chance of embarrassing myself. The lights were dim as people were still meditating from the 4:30 class. Oh, Bikram is also 90 minutes. Whew!

So, I got down into savasana on my mat and tried to meditate on acclimating myself to the temperature in the room. But really I was focused on not looking like a doofus.

When the instructor came in and turned on the lights, everyone got up and faced her. She introduced us and told the new people that our main goal tonight was just to stay in the room for the whole 90 minutes. I didn’t think that’d be a problem, but her warning had me a little off guard. That’s my main goal, as a new person? Is it my main goal as an in-shape new person? Or as a flubby, can’t run a mile new person? Should I be worried?

We started off with a breathing exercise–opening our lungs and working on complete inhalations. I was trying to figure out what was going on for most of that part, so I was a little less than relaxed. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some sections), you repeat most poses/exercises.

Bikram Yoga Class

(source)

When we started moving into balancing poses, I was feeling alright. Pretty much covered in sweat, but doin’ ok. Then we starting inverting.

I started to feel my ears and toes tingle, and then when I came out of the first attempt at triangle pose (a pose I actually like!), I thought I was going to throw up on myself and then pass out. What a downer for everyone around me! I saw another younger girl sitting on the floor, and I was so glad I wasn’t going to be the only one.

I plopped myself down and focused on breathing. I took a few sips of water, focused on it going DOWN my throat instead of other stuff coming UP it. Pretty, right? Hope you weren’t eating breakfast.

After balancing, there were a few strength poses, and then we went into mat poses. Thank Jesus! The best part? In between each mat pose, we stayed in savasana for a few seconds. It was like a present after almost tossing my cookies on the mat. I felt embarrassed that I can play 4 games of soccer in a row in 90+ degree weather, but couldn’t hold my stomach together in a 104*F room doing postures.

Afterward I talked to the studio director and she gave me some tips on when and what to eat beforehand. I read that you’re supposed to avoid big or heavy food 2 to 4 hours before, but I needed something more than what I had eaten all day (plus I had an awesome run over my lunch break with coworkers).

My overall thoughts on Bikram (hot) Yoga?

Thumbs Up!

That shit’s no joke. But I liked it. I liked seeing where I could go, watching all the people who’d been there for years. I liked sweating, I liked pushing my body, I liked pushing my mind. Next time I’m going to focus more on breathing (because I noticed I was holding my breath a lot), and trying to progress into getting better at the poses and being less self-conscious. But I’m pretty proud of myself for getting out there and trying something new!