I am at home with a pulled groin again today. It’s not too bad, but I want to be extra restful because I want to exercise tonight, because tonight is BOXING! Hoorah!
Also my groin has been hurting a lot more since Sean, my lovely, caring boyfriend, thought it would be funny to “fake knee” me in the crotch. However, Sean is way taller than he thought he was and actually kneed me pretty hard.
I now know the feeling of falling to the floor after a crotchular injury. I always thought guys were exaggerating when they fell down. Not that I experienced the kind of man-pain that is a crotch knee. But, I know that groins are serious and not to be messed with. Or kneed.
Also, I have been rotating between icing my groin and putting a heat pad on it. You know like, RICE: Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation? The ice is supposed to dull the pain and the heat is supposed to relax the muscle. Because it’s too sweepy. Poor baby muscle.
About RICE, it’s rather difficult to compress and elevate one’s crotch for extended periods of time. Pelvic thrusts are not meant to be sustained for more than a few seconds (it’s just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right).
Meanwhile, I’ve been thinking that perhaps I am doing my body a favor by freezing my girlish anatomy. I don’t ever want kids, but if I did decide to have some later, my eggs will surely be frozen. But then I re-heat them with the heating pad.
They sure are weathering a tough time.
Maybe I’ve killed them all.
Oh well, another day of ice crotch.