Now comes the regret

I applied for the YMCA job.

It doesn’t really mean anything yet. I mean, I applied online. They could:

  1. Never even see it
  2. Decide I don’t qualify
  3. Allow my application to get lost in the system
  4. Decide there are more applicants who are way better

And on come the feelings of nervousness and regret. Like maybe my current boss will discover and fire me for thinking about finding a new job.

Isn’t that illegal? He’s a lawyer; he would know.

If I do get an interview/offer I was going to try to work it out to do both, but I don’t really know how that’ll be possible. I tend to made dumb decisions on the fly and regret them later. So, we’ll see how this one pans out.

Also, I was rejected from another graduate school. I don’t exactly know what I’m doing wrong when it comes to applying to them, but apparently I’m a dumb giant loser.

This has propelled me in opposite directions.

  1. Screw it! I’ll work with kids for the summer then apply for my MAT in the spring and be a teacher.
  2. I need to stick with my current job, because I’ll be guaranteed a paycheck even if my final graduate school denies me.

So, my life is one large contradiction right now. One giant bowl of confusion and milk.

Advice welcome.

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