Swimsuit season

I know that everyone (every woman) seems to dread swimsuit season. Apparently, the thought of trying to buy a new swimsuit sends people into a crazy-faced tizzy where they end up starving themselves and desperately trying to look thin.

I’ve not had the opportunity to experience this because I’ve had the same swimsuit for a while. It’s fit every year. It’s been “in style” every year (whatever that means). And it’s not disintegrated yet.

I thought that last part anyway, until Sean and I drove to Myrtle beach last summer to spend a weekend with his parents who were staying there for 2 weeks. During our first trip to the beach weekend, my swimsuit fell off with the hit of the first wave. Needless to say, I changed into my one-piece and looked like a granny all weekend (because that was my water aerobics swimsuit).

I will add as a side note that I changed into my one piece in a car while sitting on a trash bag so as to not get the seats wet. It was hot and the trash bag stuck to me. Ew.

So, since my suit was essentially stretched out beyond wearability (at least in more than just pool water), I have decided to get a new suit this year.

This, however, is not turning out like the time I bought my forever-swimsuit. When I bought that old thing, I was on a vacation between my senior year in high school and my first year in college. It was a family vacation, and my swimsuit strap snapped at the beach. My mom finagled it for the day, and we stopped by Wal Mart that night for a quick replacement.

That replacement lasted me 4+ years.

What to do now?

Buy a new swimsuit. This is hard because it seems like they some in three styles: skimpy, extra skimpy, and burkha. When I go to the beach, I want it to look like I’m at the beach, not in an orthodox Muslim country. That said, I don’t want to leave nothing to the imagination.

Does it weird anyone else out that we essentially swim in garments that resemble our underwear? Why don’t I just wear a sport bra and shorts?

Then there comes into play the issue of fit. One reason my current swimsuit doesn’t work well at the beach is that the bottoms stretch out when wet after years of use. Ya know when babies without water diapers go to the beach and get saggy-butt? That’s what it looked like.

Bikinis come as separates now so you can get a different size for your top than you do for your bottom (that was a genius discovery on the part of clothing makers, 1. for the convenience, 2. for the price factor; they can charge you so much more now!).

Then for a one-piece you have to consider torso length and hip width along with bust size, etc. This is harder than buying a prom dress. Gah.

I think I’ll just swim in a t-shirt. What’s that you say? It’s not allowed? Well, it’s obvious that the beaches are in cahoots with the swimsuit industry.

What we want to look like. Note: No smile.
What reality looks like. A lot happier. 🙂

Why is finding a decent swimsuit so hard? Any suggestions on where to shop?

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One thought on “Swimsuit season

  1. “skimpy, extra skimpy, and burkha”

    That must be the best line ever! I’m currently on a swimsuit search too. It’s seems to be nothing but stress!

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