I am currently sitting on my apartment’s porch/deck wishing I were somewhere else. Yes, my new porch garden is beautiful, and my mom even let Sean and I borrow some fold-out chairs for us to enjoy our porch while we save up for more sturdy porch furniture.
Yes, I had a great weekend spending time with my mom and then with Sean.
But if you’ll notice in this last picture, the porch door is open. It’s letting a lot of cool air and delicious flowery smells into the house. It’s bringing the outside in.It’s somewhat nice because we usually can’t open the porch doors like this.But the reason we usually don’t is because of Mitten Head. And the reason I can now is because Sean and Mitten Head are gone. Yes today is the fateful day when Sean takes the Mitten up to Kentucky to get half her teeth removed.
I feel bad. Anyone who knows me, knows I treat my cat like I would my child. That cat is spoiled beyond belief. So shoving her in the cat carrier (literally, shoving her after a few tried where she wiggled her way out of our arms and ran to hide under the bed) was a little difficult. I had to trick her to coming to me, which made me feel like a bad cat mom. What if she associates me calling her to me with being put in the cat-carrier, carted on an 8-hour journey, and waking up with a sore mouth and no teeth. My cat will hate me.
As Sean was about to pull out of our apartment, the rush to just drop everything and go along swept over me. I’ll call into work for the week. I’ll get ready and pack in 15 minutes or less. Sean, being the humoring kind of guy he is, asked me, “Do you want to?” He knew the answer. Of course I wanted to come along. Of course I wanted to be the one to comfort my cat in my lap as we drove a mind-numbing amount of time to her eventual extreme discomfort.
But it was too late to change all the weekly plans. It was too late to try to book a hotel since Sean will be sleeping on his aunt’s couch, something not large enough for two. It was too late.
And now I feel terrible. I feel like I’m the slacker. And now I have all week to sit alone and feel bad about not helping to support both Sean and the cat.
It’s a little dramatic, I know. I just really wish I could be going along with them. It makes it really hard to sit here and enjoy my new beautiful porch garden.