Today is one of those kind of days where I’m using a random word generator to help me post. I try to post at least once a day, sometimes more if I have a lot today. And today, I’m just not feeling inspired by anything.
So I Googled, “Randow Word Generator,” and chose to receive a noun that was “somewhat uncommon” and this is what I received:I say I received it like it was a gift from the heavens or something. I would much rather the heavens send me something along the lines of true Euphoria rather than an awkward reminder via random word generator at how mediocre my life is.
Yes, it’s already starting to be one of those posts. If you’re not ready and/or willing to hear me whine, might as well leave now.
eu·pho·ri·a [yoo-fawr-ee-uh, -fohr-]
–noun Psychology .
a feeling of happiness, confidence, or well-being sometimes exaggerated in pathological states as mania.
I don’t really remember the last time I felt euphoric (in the common sense of the word, not the literal). Maybe it’s because I’m not that excitable when it comes to happy things. Maye it’s because I’m a Debbie-Downer and always have my eye out for the next bad thing to happen. I don’t know.
I mean, a year ago I was graduating from college, and I didn’t feel euphoric about that. I didn’t feel nostalgic about it either. I wasn’t happy or sad. I just did it.
When I got a job here in Atlanta, I wasn’t euphoric about it. I was glad to have a paycheck, and glad to be working instead of sitting home alone. But it wasn’t the best thing that had ever happened to me.
It seems as though I’m a glass-half-empty kind of gal.
According to Wikipedia, (again, don’t judge) euphoria comes from the Greek meaning “power of enduring easily, fertility.” While fertility may seem weirdly odd in my position, the notion of enduring easily does apply.
It seems to me like I just need something to look forward to. Graduation wasn’t exciting because I wasn’t really going anywhere afterward. Getting a job wasn’t exciting because it wasn’t in my field, and I didn’t see potential for upward movement.
I’m planning on subjecting myself to another round of potential rejection when I apply to graduate schools again this year. I don’t have any excuse to slack off this time. I’m not tied down with college classes or preparing to move. I need to just get out there and focus.
I’m also in the process of applying to jobs that are more in my field. Maybe I’ll feel euphoric about one of those things later on.
So I’m going to stop moping and start acting.
The end of that.