Have I ever told you guys how much I love my cat? Oh, I have? Well, let me just remind you.
Mitten Head, do you know how much I love you?
No, Mitten. I mean, you’re like a child to me. Like my child. Not just a random child. I tend to dislike those. You’re my kid replacement. Except for that I don’t like kids…
Mitten, I would marry you if it were legal.
Mitten, I’m glad we share a political affiliation. And an apartment. And sometimes a bed, sometimes a couch. You’re better than humans a lot of the time. You’re no fuss. You’re easy to read. You tell me what you want. You need me and yet you give me space. You’re a perfect person in a cat’s body. Please be my friend forever.