Pedicures and Face Massages…

I got my second pedicure yesterday. I got one once while I was in college with my mom. We went and the guy who was supposed to do mine looked at my feet and then yelled at the entire salon, “There’s noting  can do for her.” It’s not because my feet are so hopeless and beyond repair. It’s because I keep my toenails EXTRA short so I can fit them in my soccer cleats. That and almost ten years of callouses built up right where I need them for ______ (insert activity here: soccer, kickboxng, boxing, etc.). Also there are usually lots of bruises and blisters.

You're welcome for a foot shot.

This time was a lot different, and I can’t say it was my favorite. All the girls in the company went out to lunch and then to the nail salon as our Christmas party. When we walked in, the lady asked me what color I wanted my toenails painted. “No color,” I said. “No color? Not even red or green for the holidays?” “No color, please.” There was not much to paint anyway.

So she did what she could, trimming cuticles and softening callouses. Then she rubbed my legs and ankles… And then the doozie…

She started trying to rub my shoulders, but I was wearing a turtle neck, because that’s how I roll. After a slightly kinky choking session where she tried to shove her hands down my shirt to reach my shoulders, she started massaging my face. The woman whose hands were just all up in my feet was rubbing my face. Not only that, but she had some weird massage oil or lotion on her hands which was making me feel like my face was going to break out any minute.

The coworkers of mine who could see me were laughing their heads off at the weird faces I was making. I’m sure it would have been hilarious to watch. It seemed like something out of a movie where I was the main character, a super-nerd who was being taken for “girly” pampering and was getting the awkward face rub-down from the nail salon lady.

Story of my life.

I came home and washed my face ASAP. Lesson learned, never get a foot/face rub. Stick to Sean’s foot rubs. They are rare, but at least he doesn’t touch my face afterward.

Has anyone else had an awkward moment like this in front of lots of people you see often? It’s like a high school embarrassing prom moment!


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