That Really Grinds My Gears

I’m getting ready to complain. Beware.

I’m a planner. I like to have some idea of what I’m going to do any certain day. It come from when I’d over-scheduled the hell out of myself in college, and while I complained about always being busy and having no life, it came to be the way I learned to function.

Even now, I have a really, really hard time when someone disrupts the imaginary schedule I’ve made for myself each day. Even if it’s off by just a few minutes, even if it’s a beneficial disruption, my first reaction is indignation and annoyance.

Cue the incessant habit of my boss to send emails to clients, copying me, saying things like, “Carolyn will call you tomorrow about this.”

This stirs up a silent rage. I don’t know why it makes me so mad. Maybe because I feel like he’s shirking things off on me that he doesn’t want to do. Maybe because I feel like he’s passively-aggressively telling me to hurry up on a project (although he keeps adding things to my already endless to-do list so I feel like I never accomplish anything at the end of the day). Maybe it’s because I’d rather have him ask me to call someone than promise them I will, assuming I wasn’t going to do anything important that day.

It happens at least once a day and it is so flipping hard for me to not have a big, ol’ attitude about it.

He does similar things not in email form, “Hey! Add this to your list.” Nonchalantly. I feel like someone’s secretary. I know we’re supposed to be humble, and that I’m the employee so technically I do what I’m told while I’m getting paid to do so. But ARGH! I don’t know why it’s so frustrating for me, but I just can’t help but get angry.

Any advice? Suggestions? Anyone just want to tell me to get over it?

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One thought on “That Really Grinds My Gears

  1. Carolyn, I know this is delayed but I have the same problem at my work. Things that I feel other people are getting paid to do but they give them to me…..It’s like hello? what are you getting paid to do? This! Or so i thought! But being a new employee it feels even harder to say anything… Just add that to the list in your mind of why you deserve a raise or promotion when the time comes. You can do all of these things and your superior trusts you to do all of these things that he/she should be addressing himself.

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