The Decision

So, I told you guys I’d made a decision about graduate school, and I’d tell you tomorrow what I’d decided to do. That was Friday, and the weekend happened, and I had more time to think. So my decision is now less definite. Sorry to always do that to you guys.

Let me tell you how the timeline went. I was scheduled to go to an open house for an MBA in marketing program on Thursday. I’d sought advice from a few sources, and all pretty much told me the same thing. I’m in marketing right now. Why not get a few years of experience before deciding to spend a lot of time and money (or decide to make less money) on something I may not really be interested in? Was marketing really my passion?

What makes me happy?

If you read the blog I wrote about graduate school, you could probably tell me it’s not. So, why was I willing to waste a chunk of life and money to pursue it vigorously? Because I just want to be in school and learn.

On to my true passion. I love to write.

Sean made me soak in a bath last night because I was essentially coming apart at the seams regarding my life. Quarter life crisis. I’m not even close to where I thought I’d be right now–in any form or fashion, in any of the paths I thought my life could/would take. But I’ve come to realize that just because my life didn’t follow the path I’d planned out for myself, doesn’t mean it’s not on the right path.

I’m very “Type A,” if you couldn’t tell, and it’s really hard for me to take a backseat to circumstance. I don’t believe that life just happens, I believe it is what you make it. That’s why I feel like a failure so far. But I’m working on understanding that life isn’t like college, you can’t be the best at it in just 4 years. Life is a long-term journey. If I accomplished everything I wanted to do right now, at 24, I’d have nothing left to explore for the rest of my time on the earth.

Explore Life

So, this is a long-winded, roundabout way of me telling you that I thought I’d decided something, and really haven’t. I did decide that I’m not going to apply for my MBA, because I really don’t want that to begin with.

I’m still considering applying to the English program that I was interested in. But I’m only applying to 1. The application isn’t due until January. So I have time to research, think out my answers, carefully ask for letters of recommendation (since I probably dried out that well a long time ago).

If I apply.

Life

I need to remember that life’s a journey, not a destination. If I get where I want to go right away, I’ll have missed the trip there, and that’s truly the fun in the whole thing. I don’t have to be Doogie Howser, with my full-on career at 16. And it doesn’t mean I’m a failure because I’m not.

I just need to focus on living life and loving life–enjoying the time of people with whom I spend it. Money is not my focus. Accolades are not my focus.

Loving the people and places who make me happy are my focus.

Your Mission

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2 thoughts on “The Decision

  1. Thanks Carolyn, I really needed this. In many ways, I am finding that my life right now is everything I never wanted, but as long as I choose not to linger on the fact that my life has gone in a different direction than the goals I had in college, I am actually quite happy with it. It’s just hard to accept the fact that my life goals can change and that’s ok.

    1. You hit the nail on the head. I need to be happy with where I am and what I have. When I actually stop worrying and take a look around, I really do have a lot to be grateful for. Good luck! Let’s chat more often. 🙂

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