I’ve been noticing recently that I’ve been a lot more timid when it comes to things I usually like: soccer, running, CrossFit, etc. I’ve made a few mistakes in CrossFit, I broke my leg in soccer, etc. And so now I feel like I’ve reached that stage in “adulthood” (a relative term for me) where I don’t feel like I’m invincible anymore.
It’s like the realization just hit that I could get in a car accident at any time–whether I’m driving safely or driving like a maniac (though I try to err on the side of safety most of the time). My broken leg was a bit of a freak accident. I’ve bruised my ankles beyond belief at soccer before, so why did one wrong step from another person snap my bone?
BECAUSE I’M GETTING OLD!
I tweeted yesterday:
I think adulthood is the point when you realize that you could die and any time from any thing and become instantly terrified of everything.
— Carolyn Lyden (@Carolyn_Lyden) September 24, 2013
I’m sure reading Columbine and the news about all the nasty stuff that’s happening around the world doesn’t help. I told my boss yesterday that adulthood seems like the realization that you should be afraid of everything, and he just shook his head “yes” and laughed.
Thoughts? I know eventually you have to just ignore it and live, because what’s the point of living an entire life in fear of the moment you’ll die and how?
The older I get, the more I think about it because the closer it comes. I’m very interested in the actual act of dying, which is the last great human action that we have in our lives. It’s the one event in our lives that no one can describe adequately because nobody comes back to talk about it …
My feeling is, death is the great mystery, and it’s the final act in our lives, and it deserves, if anything ever does, the kind of treatment that a guy like me can give it — which is speculative and imaginative.